We forget we are OK and thriving on our own and instead put our beliefs on someone else.” “Needing someone can be a sign of codependency or learned helplessness. “I think of neediness as a sign that you want someone to ‘complete’ you,” she says. This is a healthier version of “needing” someone, Rubin says. This is the instant pull you might feel toward somebody after an amazing first date. "Jealousy and FOMO are the most common reasons that people will be determined to seek out what they want and not necessarily what they need." "An emotional want is something you desire, but don't need for your long-term sense of happiness," Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, relationship coach and creator of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method, tells Elite Daily. Just because you can't get enough of someone now, though, doesn't mean that they'll fulfill you over time, or that they'll satisfy you for the right reasons. “The behaviors may be very strong at first to get to know someone quickly so you can know everything about them. “I often think of wanting someone as a passion play, or a seduction, or even a deep lust,” she explains. Nina Rubin, a life coach and psychotherapist, backs me up: each of those three dynamics is distinct, she tells Elite Daily, and while they might overlap, they don’t always. There's a difference between wanting somebody, needing somebody, and loving somebody. And, after a minute or two of awkward silence on the phone, this is how I broke it down for her: I want to give a clear answer to you,” I replied. “How do you know if you are still in love with someone, or if you're staying because of the familiarity?” she asked me.Īt the time, I was pretty taken aback by her frankness. My friend wasn't sure if she wanted, needed, or loved her partner anymore. But then, like a cruel twist of fate, things began to change. Everything seemed like it was going according to plan. I was surprised because her relationship seemed “perfect” - they met during their freshman year of college and he was her first love they traveled the world together and kept up a successful long-distance relationship he proposed once they reunited and lived in the same city again. They got engaged just last year and were even planning to buy a new house together. Recently a close friend called to tell me that she's breaking up with her fiancé, who she has been with for six years.
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